Life of Lies
by jewel2687
Summary: Ramon Dawson told his son that he should have left his wife 30 years ago. Antonio did the math and decided not to tell Gabby. What exactly did it all mean? For 30 years Ramon and Camila Dawson have been keeping a secret with the potential to devastate their daughter. Now it's time for the truth to come out.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Happy 2017 Everybody!

So I've had this idea for what I thought would initially be a one-shot since shortly after 5x07 aired. It's turning out to be way longer than I ever imagined though so I'm breaking it into a small multi-chapter instead. It'll probably wind up being three or four parts, but I won't know for certain until I actually finish it.

Maybe I'm crazy, but remember that scene with Antonio, Brett, and Severide at Molly's where Antonio revealed that his father had said he should have done it thirty years ago and he wasn't going to tell that to Gabby? It felt to me like there was more to what Antonio actually said than met the eye, some underlying subtext or something. My idea for what that could be is the basis for this little fic. However, I'm using the middle of 5x07 as my jumping off point instead of the end, right after the disastrous party and divorce announcement, instead of the end of the episode. It just kind of worked out that way as I was crafting the story.

Huge thank you to NuGirl, who when I was all like I have this idea and I think it would be a good basis for a one-shot but I don't have enough for a story, encouraged me to see what I could do with it. Well, I put my mind to it, and this is what I came up with. Turns out I was able to get a lot more out of it than I ever imagined.

Now here's the first chapter. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think, even if its just that I'm crazy to have made the leap from 5x07 to this.

* * *

Chapter One

As sunlight started to stream through the curtains that surrounded the bedroom window, Gabby started to wake up. Feeling Matt's arm securely around her and the rise and fall of his chest as he slept, she felt truly content. This was the life she'd always wanted. Matt at her side not as her friend or colleague but as her lover, her partner. A child hopefully sound asleep in the other bedroom. Then the events of the previous evening started to come back to her. It had started off so normal, just like the anniversary parties that had come before it. Her father's toast had started off without a hint that anything was wrong. In the beginning it had all seemed so happy and loving, and then he'd made that awful announcement. Now lying in bed, she hoped it was just a dream, some awful nightmare that she was waking up from to find that the party hadn't even happened yet. In her heart though, she knew that it was real. Her father had left her mother. Her parents were getting divorced. She just didn't understand why.

Turning her attention towards Matt in an attempt to distract herself, Gabby took him in. His muscular chest was buried under the covers and his beautiful blue eyes were closed, but she still found him incredibly sexy. His face was a bit scruffy, indicating that he needed to shave. She liked him like that though. His lips were etched in a slight smile, something she knew meant that he was having a good dream, and she couldn't help but hope that it was about her. This wasn't the first time she had woken up to find that smile on his face, and there was always something about it. It was like his lips were screaming "kiss me" to her. She wanted to let him sleep though. After all, he'd been up late into the night trying to comfort her, and she doubted her unsettled tossing and turning had made it easy for him to fall asleep.

She wanted to spend her life with him. She had every intention of doing just that. After all, she couldn't even imagine a future that didn't involve Matt. Did that mean anything though? Her whole life she'd believed that her parents were deeply in love, that aside from her and Antonio and then their grandkids, their lives and worlds revolved around each other. As a little girl, believing that her parents had the perfect relationship, she had dreamed of growing up and finding that for herself. The example they set was what she always strived to have with Matt. Only that hadn't been enough for them. What did that mean for her and Matt? In the years they'd been together, they'd already had a failed engagement and come close to breaking up a second time. If her parents didn't have the foundation to make it last, how could she say she and Matt did? What made a lasting a relationship anyway? She'd thought Antonio and Laura had a great marriage and would be together forever. Instead they'd gotten divorced. She'd thought her parents had the ideal, perfect, storybook marriage. Now they were getting divorced. Maybe the Dawson's weren't meant to have a happily ever after. Maybe they were only meant to experience a great love for a little while before it was ripped away.

She felt Matt start to stir beside her and looked over in time to see his eyes open.

"Morning," she whispered, afraid that if she spoke any louder her voice would be shaky and betray her.

"Morning," Matt replied as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You okay?"

Gabby didn't answer. Instead a tear fell down her cheek.

"Hey. Come here," Matt said as he pulled her into a hug. There were few things Matt hated more than seeing Gabby upset. While he thought Antonio had probably gone a bit too far in almost punching Ramon in front of their entire family, he completely understood the sentiment. The moment he'd seen the look on Gabby's face as she rushed out of the room, he'd wanted to hurt the man for making her feel that way. Now he just wished there was something he could do to make this better for her or at least for it to hurt a little less. He would gladly feel her pain for her if he could.

"I woke up this morning hoping it was all a dream, but it's not. It really happened. Didn't it?" Gabby finally spoke after a few minutes.

"It did," Matt confirmed. "I'm sorry. I know last night didn't go the way you wanted or expected. You can't change that though. Just be there for your parents, and I'll be here for you."

"I'm sorry. I know I should be handling this better. It's just I never saw this coming," Gabby said as Matt wiped a few tears from her cheek.

"You have every right to feel the way you're feeling, and I get it, I do," Matt reassured her. "I know it's not the same thing. My dad was a bastard. I knew from seeing my friends' families that my parents didn't have a good marriage and that my mom was better off without my dad, but when they told me they were splitting up, I still took it hard. Part of me was relieved that he wouldn't get to hurt her anymore, but deep down I think I'd always had this fantasy that my dad would change and my parents would be good and happy together again like they were when I was little. I wanted us to be like the families I always saw on TV or thought my friends had. Once I knew that wasn't going to happen, I had to let that go. It wasn't easy, but by the time my dad died, I had come to terms with it all."

"At least you understood what had happened. I don't understand why," Gabby's voice was quiet.

"Only your parents can answer that," Matt told her.

"They always seemed so happy and in love. Was I seeing things?" Gabby asked.

"I saw it too," Matt replied.

"Was it all a lie or did something change?" Gabby whispered.

"I don't know. The truth is you never know what's going on in someone else's marriage, but you and me, we're not your parents Gabby. We're not," Matt knew her well enough to know exactly what was going through her head. "I wish I could promise you that we'll be together forever. The truth is there's no way to know what the future holds, but it's what I want. It's what I believe. It's the only way I can see myself being happy, and I do know one thing. Whatever happens, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we are together forever because I do know what it's like to lose you, to lose us, and it's not something I ever want to experience again. In my heart I truly believe that you are the love of my life and that nothing could ever make me stop loving you."

"I love you too, but what if we don't make it? No one else seems to be able to," Gabby quietly voiced her biggest fear.

"Then it'll still have been worth it because I'd have gotten to share this time with you, to have this life with you, to be this happy because of you, to have our son," Matt told her. "And I bet if you asked your parents, they wouldn't go back and change things if they could because of you and Antonio, because of everything they shared before whatever went wrong. They'll say that it was all worth whatever happened."

"Thanks Matt," she offered him a small smile.

"You're welcome. What do you say I reschedule my construction job and stay here. We can spend the day together. You, me, and Louie," he offered.

"That's okay. I want to see how my mom's doing. I was too upset to really talk to her last night. I'll see if I can get Bonnie to watch Louie. Given what's happened I don't know if I should bring him over there," Gabby replied.

* * *

Gabby pulled her car into her parents' driveway. She was by herself. Bonnie had been free and agreed to watch Louie for a few hours while Gabby dealt with some personal stuff. She hadn't given the nanny any more detail than that. Looking out the car window and towards the house, she wasn't sure what she would find. Was her mother here? What about her father? She wasn't sure she was ready to face him when he was clearly the one who had made the decision to blow everything up. She just wanted to make sure her mother was okay and comfort her. That wasn't entirely true. If she was honest with herself, maybe it was selfish, but she also wanted her mother's reassurance that whatever had happened to her parents wouldn't happen to her and Matt.

She took a deep breath to brace herself and then got out of the car, heading up the walkway towards the front door. Taking out her key, she figured she'd just let herself into the house. That way as long as her mother was home, she could check in on her, whether the woman wanted visitors or not. As she started opening the door, the sound of voices filled her ears. The two people talking clearly hadn't heard the door open. She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, that she should make her presence known, but for some reason she froze in her spot with the door slightly ajar.

"I don't understand what his problem is. I don't care if his life isn't what he thought it would be, and he's having a late mid-life crisis or something. He has responsibilities. He should be honoring them. How he could just out of nowhere do that to you?" Antonio's voice came through the opening. Gabby was surprised to hear him. She hadn't seen his car outside.

"I thought all our problems were behind us. That he'd moved beyond everything, and we were solid. It was all so long ago. I thought it was only in the past where it belongs. I was wrong," Gabby's heard her mother's voice next.

"Wait, when were you two having problems?" Antonio sounded like he was trying to piece something together.

"It was a long time ago. You were still a child. We almost got divorced then actually, but we tried to shield you from it. Looks like we did a good job," Camila admitted. "Antonio, what is it?"

"Something dad said last night. It's nothing," Antonio replied. There was a pause for about a minute before he continued. Gabby could only imagine the look her mother must be giving Antonio to prod it out of him. "Okay, fine. He made a comment about how he should have done it thirty years ago."

As Antonio spoke, the words resonated in Gabby's head. She was thirty years old. If her father had left her mother thirty years ago, would she even be here? Did he regret having her?

"At first I thought that he was just throwing out a random number to try to make a point, that he didn't realize what he was saying or at least I hoped he didn't," Antonio continued. "He wasn't though, was he? It was thirty years ago that you almost got divorced?"

"Yes," Camila's voice was so quiet that Gabby barely heard it.

"So you two stayed together because you were pregnant?" Antonio surmised.

"No," Camila let out a little laugh. "I wouldn't have blamed him if he'd left me back then. Lord knows he had a good reason to. That's when it would have made sense. Instead he stayed. For some reason he stayed."

"You're not making any sense," Antonio sounded very confused.

"You have to promise not to tell this to anyone, especially not your sister," Camila said.

Gabby knew that she should probably let them know she was there instead of just eavesdropping on some secret, but why would her mother be willing to tell Antonio and not her? She couldn't let them know she was here. It seemed clear that Camila would stop talking the moment Gabby revealed herself, and she felt like she needed to hear whatever her mother was about to say.

"Do you remember when you were in third grade? Your father was on a special task force, and he started working a lot of extra hours and going out of town a lot. I started working nights so when he actually was home, I wasn't," Camila continued, indicating that Antonio must have agreed to her terms. "I got lonely, and then I met someone."

"Who?" Antonio sounded incredulous.

"It doesn't matter," Camila replied. "He lived in our neighborhood though and had recently lost his job so he was home during the day as well. You have to understand Antonio I never intended for it to be an affair. I never wanted to do that to you father, and I've never forgiven myself for doing that to him. I can't regret it though."

Gabby felt the bile start to build up in her throat as she started to realize where her mother's story was headed and why she wasn't supposed to know. She wanted to run and forget everything that was being said, but she couldn't. It was like some force was keeping her rooted to her spot by the front door. As much as she didn't want to, she needed to hear the words.

"I ran into him one day while out for a walk," Camila continued. "And then I ran into him again the following week. We started taking walks together and then spending more and more time together. It wasn't planned, but after a few months we crossed the line, and there was no going back. I'll spare you all the details, but I didn't expect him to leave his wife. He knew I wasn't going to leave your father, but it was nice to have someone's attention. Then one day after about six months, your father came home sick from work in the middle of the morning, and he found us. I'll never forget the look on his face. It was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen aside from when I told him I was pregnant because he knew the baby wasn't his. I told Frank too, but he wanted nothing to do with it or me."

"How do you know Gabby isn't dad's?" Antonio hesitantly asked.

"Your father and I barely saw each other. We weren't exactly being intimate. The timing didn't line up, and after your sister was born, we did have a paternity test," Camila confirmed the awful truth.

Gabby couldn't listen to anymore. She needed to get out of there so she turned and raced towards her car, careful not to make any sound that would alert her mother and brother, no half-brother, to her presence. Once in her car, she pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street, trying to hold back the emotion for her own safety. Once she was several blocks away, she pulled into a parking lot and finally let it all out. She started sobbing uncontrollably. Her dad wasn't her dad. Some guy named Frank, who lived in their neighborhood, was. He'd probably watched her grow up, knowing she was his daughter but never saying anything. No that couldn't be true. Her family had moved across town just before she was born. It didn't really matter though. Her whole life was a lie.

* * *

Matt was surprised to see Bonnie at the apartment when he returned home shortly before dinner time. He had expected Gabby would be back by now. Her mom must not be doing too well if she was still there.

"Matt," Louie got up from where he was playing with blocks in the living room when he saw Matt approaching and ran to him, wrapping his little arms around Matt's right leg in a little hug.

"Hey Buddy. You have a good day with Bonnie?" Matt asked as he picked the boy up to return the hug.

"Yeah," Louie nodded. "Play with me."

"Mr. Casey," Bonnie started as she got up from her spot on the couch.

"Bonnie. I've told you before, call me Matt," he interrupted.

"Sorry. Matt, I'm glad your back. I wasn't expecting Ms. Dawson to be this long when I agreed to watch Louie this morning, and I can't get ahold of her. I'm running late for an appointment. I'll see you in the morning," Bonnie gathered her things as she spoke.

"Wait. Gabby's not answering her phone?" Matt instantly became concerned. He knew Gabby was upset about her parents' divorce, but it wasn't like her to not answer or at least return a phone call, especially one from Louie's nanny.

"No, she's not," Bonnie replied. "I'm sorry but I need to run."

"Louie, I need to call Mommy quickly. Then we can play," Matt said as he put Louie back down and reached for his phone, hoping that Gabby would at least answer his call.

"You've reached Gabby's voicemail," her voice came through the phone a minute later. "Leave a message, and Gabby will call you back. Maybe."

"Hey babe, it's me. I'm home with Louie now and wanted to check in. I guess you're probably still with your mom. I hope both of you are doing okay. Maybe you're on your way home, but if not, can you give me a call when you get this. Thanks. Love you," Matt left a message.

He then joined Louie on the floor and played blocks with him. When Gabby hadn't called back after twenty minutes, he tried calling her again. Still no answer. Another ten minutes passed, and he texted her. She didn't reply. Then he tried calling her for a third time. Now he was getting really worried. This wasn't like Gabby at all. Not wanting to worry Camila in case it was nothing, given everything she was dealing with, he decided to start with Antonio. Maybe she had decided to pay him a visit as well. After all, it was also Antonio's parents who were divorcing. As much as Matt could empathize with the situation, Antonio was probably the person who was feeling the closest to what Gabby was feeling right now.

"Hi Matt," Antonio did pick up.

"Hey. Is Gabby there?" Matt asked.

"No. Why?" Antonio responded.

"She's not answering her phone. I know she was going to go see your mom this morning. Maybe she's still there, but –," Matt started to explain.

"She's not at Mom's," Antonio cut him off.

"You sure?" Matt asked.

"Yeah. I was there all morning and again for a bit in the afternoon," Antonio replied. "I never saw her, and I'm sure Mom would have mentioned if she had stopped by between when I left and came back. You sure she was going to see Mom?"

"Yeah. She specifically said that she wanted to see how your mother was doing. Bonnie came over to watch Louie so she could go. She got here just as I was leaving for my construction job. That was a little before ten," Matt said.

That was when it started clicking in Antonio's head. He had been furious with his mother after her confession and blasted her for cheating on his father and keeping the whole thing a secret. After about fifteen minutes, he'd stormed out of the house, needing to calm down. He wouldn't deck her like he'd tried to deck his father, but in the moment he was equally furious with both of his parents. As he'd left, he'd noticed that the front door was slightly ajar. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, too engrossed in his rage, he had just shrugged it off. Why was it partially open though? He was almost positive he'd fully closed it when he entered the house that morning. Had Gabby come and started to let herself in only to leave? That didn't make sense unless…

"Oh God," Antonio inadvertently said the words out loud.

"What?" Matt had become increasingly alarmed at the utterance.

"Nothing," Antonio replied.

"Antonio," Matt sounded very annoyed because he was. Gabby was missing, and Antonio seemed to know something that made him react like that. Matt needed to know what was going on because what was going through his head right now wasn't good.

"Look, I'm going to come over," Antonio said before quickly hanging up the phone. He wasn't exactly sure what to tell Matt right now. Hopefully, Gabby would resurface before he made it to her apartment or if not, at least the drive would maybe give him a chance to figure out what to tell her boyfriend.

Fifteen minutes later Antonio arrived at the apartment. Matt was in full blown panic mode as he opened the door.

"Antonio, what's going on?" Matt asked before the door was even fully open.

"I think Gabby may have been at the house this morning only Mom and I didn't know," Antonio admitted as he stepped into the apartment.

"Why would she stop by and not see you guys? As hard as she's taking all this, she's also been worried about your mother. I can't see her going over and then changing her mind before seeing anyone," Matt asked.

"I can't say anything more. It's not my place," Antonio didn't want to put Matt in the position of having to either keep his parents' secret from Gabby or be the one to tell her on the off chance she didn't know. "But if I'm right, she's going to be pretty upset."

"She was already pretty upset because of the divorce," Matt shot back.

"I know. It might be worse now though," Antonio said.

"What happened there?" Matt asked, needing to understand what was going on.

"Let's just see if we can come up with a list of places where she might have gone. Then you should go look for her. I'll stay here and watch Louie," Antonio ignored the question.

"Antonio—" Matt started to ask what was going on again.

"The important thing is that we find her. Everything else can wait," Antonio interjected.

* * *

Author's Note: So what did you think? Am I crazy?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story. I'm glad that people seem to like this so far and that the idea didn't seem so completely out of left field.

Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it and as always, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Two

After leaving her parents' house, Gabby drove around aimlessly for a while. Eventually she had wound up near the lake, gotten out of her car, and gone for a walk. Now she was sitting on a bench staring at the water as tears streamed down her cheeks. You'd think she'd be out of tears by now. After all, she'd been crying on and off all day, but somehow there were still tears left to fall. She felt so completely lost. So much of what she thought she knew about herself wasn't true. How could her parents have done this to her? What did the man she'd thought was her father think every time he looked at her? Was her very existence a constant reminder of a painful time his life? Would he even want anything to do with her now that he was done with her mother? Once he found out that she knew the truth would he be glad that he didn't have to keep up the charade of being her father? As a child, she'd worshipped him, been a daddy's girl. Her father had acted like it meant the world to him. Now it felt like one big joke. She wished she could go back to Friday when her world still made sense, but was she really better off or had the world just been laughing at how stupid she was?

The sound of her phone ringing pulled her attention to her coat pocket. She took it out and saw that Matt was calling. For a brief moment she thought about answering the phone, but she couldn't talk to him. Not now so she just let it ring until it ultimately went to voicemail. About a minute later the voicemail icon popped up on her phone, indicating that Matt had left a message. She may not be ready to talk to him, but she wanted the comfort of his voice so she decided to at least listen to the message.

"Hey babe, it's me. I'm home with Louie now and wanted to check in. I guess you're probably still with your mom. I hope both of you are doing okay. Maybe you're on your way home, but if not, can you give me a call when you get this? Thanks. Love you," the message said.

'Love you' the word resonated in her head. She knew that he loves someone, the person he believes she is, the person she had thought she was. Did that person really exist though? Had she ever? Deep down she knew that she was being ridiculous. Matt didn't love her because of who her father was, and he certainly wasn't going to stop just because she'd been lied to her whole life. The only reason he'd even care was because of what she was feeling right now, but he would immediately know that something else was wrong. Then she'd have to tell him the truth. She couldn't talk about it. Not yet. So couldn't go home or even answer her phone.

Then her phone rang again. It was another call from Matt. Once again she let it go to voicemail. She knew he would be worried. She hated doing that to him. It was something she had never thought she would intentionally do. Maybe it was just a sign. The lies had been a mask. Now that mask had been pulled away, revealing the person she really is, someone who ignores one of the two people she loves most and lets him worry about her.

She needed some sense of normalcy, some aspect of her life and identity that wasn't a result of her parents' lies. Maybe that would help her find the person she had always been. Molly's. No matter what she was one of the owners of Molly's. That couldn't be taken from her. She wasn't supposed to be working there tonight. She'd actually cut back a lot after getting Louie. Fortunately, Hermann and Otis had been understanding about the whole thing. Still if she showed up tonight looking to work, she couldn't imagine they'd say no. Wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks, she got up and headed to her car.

* * *

Sitting in her car outside Molly's, Gabby prepared herself to go in. She needed to put on a smile and act normal. She didn't want anyone realizing that something was wrong. Hopefully, Antonio wouldn't stop by tonight. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she saw him. Feeling fully ready, she got out and headed into the bar.

"Hey Dawson," Hermann said from he behind the bar. It was still early. Molly's hadn't been open very long and thus wasn't very full.

"Hi," she replied as she approached the bar. "I know it's last minute, but I was thinking that maybe I could help out tonight. It's been a while since I worked the bar, and for some reason, I've been missing it."

"Everything okay?" Hermann asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" Gabby lied.

"It just a little unusual for you to show up here out of the blue looking to work," Hermann pointed out.

"Well, Matt still has his alderman duties and construction gigs. Why can't I have my side job too?" Gabby pointed out.

"Fair enough," Hermann said while silently telling himself to keep an eye on her. Something seemed off. "For now at least, I think Kidd and I have it covered, but take a seat. It's been a while since you've hung out here too."

"Yeah well, now that I'm a mom, I don't exactly have all the time in the world to just hang out," Gabby said as she reached behind the bar for a shot glass and the nearest bottle, which turned out to be rum. She poured herself a shot and downed it. That felt good. Molly's was definitely what she needed right now.

"You're talking to a man with five kids," Hermann reminded her as he made not of what she had just done.

"Hey Kidd," Gabby called as she caught sight of the other woman emerging from the back room out of the corner of her eye. "How do you feel about a night off? I can cover for you."

"Sounds good. I could use an early night," Kidd replied, missing the fact that Hermann was shaking his head no.

"Great. Let me get that for you," Gabby got up from the barstool she was sitting in and took the tray from Kidd. Bringing it back behind the bar, she poured herself a glass of wine.

* * *

"I don't know," Matt was getting frustrated. Gabby had seemingly gone from not answering her phone to turning it off. The list of places she would go if she was upset and wanted to be left alone that he and Antonio had come up with, including the Academy to see Shay's badge, the swings in the park near her childhood home, the building where she'd first found Louie, had turned out to be a waste of his time. He'd even swung by 51 on his way home even though he doubted she would be there. Gabby preferred to be alone when she was upset.

Suddenly he looked down as his phone started to buzz on the coffee table, hoping that it was Gabby calling and that she was alright. He was disappointed to see Hermann's name on the screen.

"Hermann," he picked it up hoping that the call would be quick. He didn't have time for anything longer.

"Hi Lieutenant. Dawson's here," Matt felt his body instantly relax at those words. He was surprised by the fact that she had wound up there, but his surprise was far outweighed by the relief of knowing where she was and that she was safe. "She came in about an hour ago and insisted on working the bar tonight. When I told her we were fully staffed, she sent Kidd home. She's drank what looks like about two thirds of a bottle of wine and done at least two shots. Something seems off with her, and I'm pretty sure I saw her crying earlier. Tried asking her if she's okay a few times, but she keeps brushing me off. I'm worried. Thought you should know."

"Thanks Hermann. I'll be right there. Keep an eye on her for me," Matt said before hanging up and turning his attention to Antonio. "Molly's."

"Guess we should have thought to look there," Antonio said.

"According to Hermann she's not doing too well. I'm gonna go get her," Matt informed him.

"Did he say if she told him what was wrong?" Antonio wanted to know if Gabby knew the truth about her paternity.

"Just that she kept insisting that she was fine whenever he tried to ask," Matt replied as he got up, kissed the top of Louie's head, and grabbed his keys before heading out the door intent on bringing his girl home and taking care of her.

* * *

Matt walked into Molly's and immediately spotted Gabby standing behind the bar serving drinks to a small group of customers that he didn't recognize. She then turned around and grabbed a glass of something. Her back was to him so it was hard to tell at this angle, but he was pretty sure she had just taken a drink of whatever was in the glass. She turned around again and their eyes met. For a brief moment he couldn't quite read her.

"Matt!" she exclaimed as her face broke into a smile. It was clearly fake though. He could see the pain in her eyes, which were red and puffy. She had definitely been crying and not just the few tears Hermann had seen earlier. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," he told her.

"Awww, that's sweet," she said as she leaned over the bar and kissed him. He could taste the alcohol on her lips and in her mouth. She then turned to her patrons.

"Isn't that sweet?" she asked them before her attention suddenly snapped back to Matt, a look of confusion coming over face indicating that she had just realized something. "How did you know I was here? I wound up having to cover for Kidd at the last minute."

Matt's heart broke a little with those words. Not only was she tipsy if not drunk, but she wasn't being honest with him or maybe with herself. That wasn't like Gabby at all. Antonio was right. There was definitely more going on here than just being upset over her parents' divorce.

"Hermann called. He was worried about you," Matt explained.

"I told him I'm fine," Gabby protested. "There was no need for you to come all the way down here just to check on poor little Gabby."

Matt walked behind the bar and placed his hands on Gabby's shoulders.

"Babe, can we talk privately?" he asked softly.

"Matt, I'm working," Gabby protested as her face fell and her eyes started to water. Matt was seeing through the façade she was putting up. If she couldn't convince him, how could she convince herself?

"Babe, please. It's important," he desperately wanted to help her, but in order to do that, he needed to know what was going on.

"Wait," Gabby said. Something had just dawned on her. "If you're here, who's watching Louie? Is Bonnie still there?"

"No. She left as soon as I got home. Antonio's with him," Matt explained. He wasn't sure why, but Gabby's demeanor suddenly shifted. She was suddenly completely sober and glaring at him. What he didn't know was that the mere mention of her brother's name brought back the awful reality she was trying to hide from.

"I don't want that _traitor_ in our home or anywhere near our child," Gabby exploded. Matt was completely taken aback by her reaction.

"Gabby," Matt started to speak but didn't get very far.

"Hermann, I need to go home," Gabby called as she grabbed her coat and purse from their spot behind the bar and ran towards the door with Matt at her heels. She was determined to make sure that Antonio knew to leave them alone, that she wanted nothing to do with him or her so called parents ever again.

"Gabby, you're in no condition to drive. Let me take you home. We can swing by on our way to shift tomorrow to get your car," Matt said as soon as he'd caught up with her. The last thing he had expected was that Gabby would suddenly bolt. He was so confused. He thought he knew her better than he knew anyone else, better than anyone else knew her. Yet at no point tonight had she acted in any way he would expect.

"I'm fine Matt," Gabby wanted to be alone right now.

"Babe, I don't know what's going on, but let me be there for you. Let me take care of you," Matt begged as he reached up and wiped a tear from her eye and pulled her into a tight embrace. Her tears kept coming though as her anger transformed into devastation, and in a matter of seconds, she was sobbing into his chest. He wasn't going to complain though. Whatever was going on, she clearly needed this so he just held her close and rubbed her back. He wasn't sure how long they stood there but eventually her sobs calmed down and she nodded, letting him know that it was okay for him to drive her home. He guided her to his truck and helped her get in.

"Talk to me," Matt said once he was in the car with her.

"Matt, I…I," Gabby started to speak but found she couldn't get the words out.

"Would it be easier if I told you what I think I know," Matt saw that she was struggling. Gabby just nodded in response, prompting him to continue. "When you weren't answering your phone, I got worried so I called Antonio. Figured maybe you would have gone there after seeing your mom only he told me he was with your mom on and off all day and that you never stopped by," he thought it best to leave out the part where Antonio had worried that she had overheard something that upset her for fear that it would just make things worse. "And the way you're acting tonight, I don't think it's just about the divorce. You were upset last night and this morning about it, but this is different. Something happened today that upset you and kept you from seeing your mom, didn't it? What was it? You can tell me anything. You know that. I love you."

"I know you do, and I need you. I do. You and Louie, you're all I have left. I just don't know if I can face it," Gabby admitted.

"Whatever happened you don't have to face it alone. Whatever happens, we face it together. It's you and me, remember?" Matt was tempted to say that no matter what was going on, she still had her parents and her brother, but given the fact that for some reason she had called Antonio a traitor and the man himself had been worried about Gabby possibly overhearing a conversation between him and their mother, he didn't think that would do any good. He had spent enough time around the Dawson family to be convinced that no matter what had happened today or what was going on within their family, Camila, Ramon, and Antonio would always be there Gabby, but he was also pretty sure that they were the reason she seemed so completely crushed.

Gabby nodded and took a deep breath as tears started to stream down her face once again.

"Here it goes," she started to speak as Matt reached for her hand. "I…I did go to the house today. When I was letting myself in, I heard my mom and Antonio talking. I know I shouldn't have, but I stopped to listen. She…she made him promise never to tell me what she was about to tell him. He must have agreed because the next thing I heard she was telling him that bef...before…before I was b…born, she had an affair and that that's how I was…conceived. My whole life my parents or I guess my mother and her husband have been lying to me, and Antonio was going to spend the rest of his life lying to me too. I don't have a father Matt. Not a real one. The guy my mom had the affair with wasn't interested in being my father, and the man who raised me probably secretly hates me, I mean how could he not when I'm proof of his wife's betrayal, and even if he doesn't he was just pretending to be my dad."

"Oh Gabby," Matt was glad that they were in his truck and not her car. The full bench that made up his front seat allowed him to simply unbuckle himself and her and then once again pull Gabby into his arms. He just wished he knew what to say.

"I'm here baby," he ultimately settled on as he tried to process what she had just told him.

* * *

Antonio sat on the couch watching Louie play with a toy firetruck. It was getting late. He probably should be getting Louie to bed even though he and Matt hadn't discussed when the boy's bedtime was or what their routine was. He had been too focused on Gabby, and Matt had seemed too panicked to think straight. Until Hermann had called, he was pretty sure that Matt was terrified that Gabby was lying in a ditch somewhere.

The front door opened and Matt and Gabby walked in. Matt's arm was around Gabby almost as if he was holding her up and it was the only thing keeping her from collapsing. Looking at Gabby's face, it almost seemed blank and empty. For the first time in his life, Antonio couldn't read his baby sister. Matt though was glaring at him with such fury that it was clear that Gabby knew everything and had told it all to Matt. There was also some sympathy in Matt's eyes though. It was if while Matt blamed Antonio for doing this to Gabby, he also knew it wasn't the man's fault.

"Get away from my child," Gabby instructed Antonio. Her voice was quiet but full of venom.

Antonio just looked at her but didn't move.

"I said get away from him," Gabby said louder this time as she broke out of Matt's grasp. She would grab Antonio off the couch if she had to.

Louie looked up from his toy, clearly startled to hear his foster mother talk like that. Meanwhile Antonio got off the couch and made his way towards Gabby, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Get away from me. Don't you dare touch me," Gabby bellowed as she swatted her brother's hand away.

As he watched the exchange, Matt's heart broke for Gabby. He'd lost track of how many times that had happened in the past twenty four hours. Also, watching Louie out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the boy looked scared. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. These types of things didn't typically happen in the normally happy and loving Casey-Dawson household, and during the past six months, Louie had witnessed the close bond between Gabby and Antonio. He didn't know what had suddenly changed and his three year old mind wouldn't be able to comprehend it if he did. He must be worried that if Gabby could turn on Antonio like that, then she could turn on him as well. Matt was torn between his fatherly instincts telling him to get Louie out of there and comfort the boy and his love for Gabby telling him to stay at her side and support her. Suddenly, Louie started to cry.

"Oh Louie. I'm sorry," Gabby rushed past Antonio. She picked Louie up and tried to comfort him. Once he stopped crying, she turned her attention back to her brother. "I should get him to bed. I want you gone when I get back."

"Gabby," Antonio started to protest but she was already walking towards Louie's room.

"Stay. You two need to talk," Matt said quietly, not wanting Gabby to overhear before he followed her into Louie's room. Louie was already getting into his pajamas. "Why don't I take him to brush his teeth and go to the bathroom. You pick out whatever book you want to read to him."

"You sure?" Gabby asked.

"Yeah," Matt replied. Someone needed to go with Louie to the bathroom. They had learned pretty quickly that if someone didn't make sure he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth before bed, he wouldn't do either. Matt knew he needed to be the one to take care of that tonight though. He didn't know and didn't want to find out what Gabby would do if she noticed that Antonio was still in their living room.

"Okay," Gabby smiled as she watched her two boys walk out of the room before she headed to Louie's bookshelf to pick out a book to read to him, trying to find one that would also make herself feel better while ruling out the ones her parents had read to her when she was a child.

After a few minutes, Matt and Louie reemerged from the bathroom. Gabby tucked Louie into bed and then Matt took a seat on the edge of the bed. Gabby nestled herself between Matt and Louie, positioning the booked so that he could see the pictures as she read to him. Matt's arm was wrapped securely around her.

"Hey Louie," Gabby said once she had finished the book. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. I had a rough day, but I never wanted to scare or upset you. You, Matt, and me, we're a family, and I love you so incredibly much. Nothing is ever going to change that. Good night sweetheart."

As Gabby leaned down to place a good night kiss on Louie's forehead, Matt couldn't help but think that that was probably exactly how her father felt about her. Despite what she had said earlier, he could never picture Ramon Dawson secretly hating her. He wished she knew that, but she just wasn't in a place right now to hear or believe it.

"Night Louie," Matt said as Gabby got up.

They made their way out of the room, Matt making sure the nightlight was on before turning off the lights as they exited Louie's bedroom. He wanted to keep an arm around Gabby and prepare her for the fact that Antonio was still here, but she walked ahead of him, making him worry that she was once again trying to bury everything. Before he even had a chance to call her name, she entered the living room and caught sight of Antonio.

"I thought I told you to leave," she barked.

* * *

So there's chapter two. Until next time, please let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story after Chapter 2. I know many of you weren't expecting Gabby to be so angry at Antonio. Hopefully, this chapter does a good enough job explaining where she's coming from.

I do have to admit that I did steal one line from 5x07 itself. No copyright infringement or anything was intended. I just thought it worked really well in the confines of my story albeit in a different context.

Now here's chapter 3. Hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Three

"I thought I told you to leave," Gabby said as soon as she laid eyes on Antonio, who was now sitting in an arm chair. While the hurt and anger was no doubt evident in her voice, she did try to keep her voice down and stay calm. The last thing she wanted was to scare Louie again or prevent him from falling asleep.

"I asked him to stay," Matt came up behind her and tried to wrap an arm around her for support.

"What? How could you? I thought you were on my side," Gabby said accusingly as she spun out of his arms and around towards him, a look of betrayal on her face.

"I am on your side. That's why I asked him to stay," Matt explained, hoping it would calm her down. "You need to talk to someone whose part of this before it completely eats you up inside. I know you're hurt and angry and confused right now. I really think Antonio can help. He's not your parents. You feel like they've been lying to your whole life, and I know you're not ready to face them. I get that. I do, but from what you've told me, Antonio hasn't been. He found out about everything at the same time you did, and I know there's something you need to ask him." Matt knew that despite what she had said earlier, she wasn't completely sure if Antonio would have kept the truth from her. "Maybe talking to Antonio won't help, but it can't hurt. If nothing else, it'll at least let you get some of this off your chest. I can stay with you or I can give you two some privacy, but please talk to him. Not for him or me, but for you."

"Stay," Gabby whispered, hoping his presence would give her the strength she needed to get through this.

"Gabby," Antonio said cautiously as he got up.

"I was there you know. I heard everything," Gabby told him. "Would you have actually done it?"

"Done what?" Antonio asked.

"She made you promise never to tell me what she was about to tell you. You agreed never to tell me that your dad isn't my dad. That I'm the result of some affair she had," Gabby spat.

"I had no idea that that's what she was about to tell me when I agreed to keep her secret," Antonio defended himself.

"That's not the point," Gabby said coldly. "Would you have kept your promise? Would you have lied to me just like they've been doing?"

"I tried to tell her that she and dad needed to tell you together. That it would be better than continuing to risk the possibility that you would find out on your own some other way. Mom's convinced that not telling you is the right thing though," Antonio explained.

"That's doesn't answer the question," Gabby pointed out.

"I don't know," Antonio finally admitted. "Do I think you have a right to know? Yes. Would I have agreed not to say anything if I'd even suspected that she was going to confess that? Probably not. I did agree to it though, and I am a man of word. Besides, it's not like it really changes anything aside from the fact that we both now know that you and dad aren't biologically related. You and I still had the childhood we had. You are still extremely loved and wanted by our entire family. Mom and Dad are still your parents. You're still my baby sister."

"Except that childhood was based on lies, at least for me, and I'm only your half-sister," Gabby replied as her eyes once again began to water.

"Full sister, half-sister. It doesn't really matter to me," Antonio said. "It doesn't take away anything we've shared though."

"It matters to me though, and you've said it doesn't change anything between us. Maybe it doesn't for you. Your life, your history, your father are all who and what you always thought they were. That's not the case for me, and it changes everything. I feel like I don't even know you or Mom or Dad right now," Gabby protested. "You may not have known what Mom was going to tell you, but you knew it was some secret about our family and about me. You had to have at least known that between Mom saying that you could never tell me and that she would have understood it if Dad had left when she was pregnant with me. I certainly guessed that whatever secret she was about to tell you somehow involved me. You must have figured that out too, and it didn't stop you from promising to keep it from me. I never thought you'd do something like that."

"I'm sorry," Antonio simply stated.

"You may be, but that doesn't change the fact that right now I feel like I don't know you or the fact that you're being here is a slap in the face because you're Mom and Dad's or maybe I should say Ramon's or Mr. Dawson's child. I'm not. I can't just act like none of this matters to me, and right now I'm just slightly less pissed at you than I am at your parents, and I don't want anything to do with you or them. I can't deal with this or you so please just leave," Gabby said as the tears broke free of her eyes.

Antonio hated seeing Gabby so upset and the damage the day seemed to do to their relationship, but he also didn't want to make things harder on her. Finding out the truth about her paternity had obviously been a big blow, and he knew she was in good hands so he decided to give her the space she needed.

"Take good care of her," he instructed Matt.

"I will," Matt promised, not that he needed Antonio to ask. He had no intention of doing anything other than being there for Gabby and helping her through this.

"I love you Gabby, and whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here," Antonio told his sister. He wanted to hug her goodbye but was worried she would just push him away or get mad again so he simply turned and made his way out of her apartment.

"I'm proud of you," Matt told her once Antonio had left. He moved to take a seat on the couch and motioned for her to join him.

"For what?" Gabby asked as she sat down next to him.

"That. I know it wasn't easy and that all you wanted to do was scream and yell. You managed to stay calm though. He knows how hurt you are by all of this," he told her. "And everything will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but you'll get through this. I know you will."

Gabby just nodded and leaned into his chest.

"Matt," she said after a minute. There was something else she needed to get off her chest, and despite her initial worry that telling Matt everything would make it all more real, she needed him and his love for her more than she ever had.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"I feel like I don't know who I am anymore," she admitted. The words completely broke his heart.

"Well, lucky for you, I know exactly who you are," he reassured her as he leaned down and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"How?" she looked up and into his eyes, searching for confirmation that he believed what he was saying, that knowing the truth hadn't changed how he saw her.

"Because you're still Gabby Dawson," he made sure to maintain eye contact, wanting her to understand that he knew what he was saying was true.

"Except I'm not really a Dawson," Gabby interrupted.

"You're still my Gabby then. You are the strong, fierce, caring, passionate, hot-headed, sexy, and amazing woman, who stole my heart a long time ago. You are an incredible friend and a great mom to Louie. You're the person whose always been there for me no matter what. You are one of the two most important people in my life; the other's Louie so don't worry," Matt was relieved to see the beginning of a smile form on her lips at that last part. It only lasted a second, but it was a start. "None of that has to do with your paternity. It's who you are in here, and the only way the truth about your father can change that is if you let it. Don't let it. Don't lose the amazing, incredible person you are just because of this. You deserve so much more than that."

"Thanks Matt," she said as she leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was long and deep. She hoped it conveyed everything that she couldn't figure out how to put into words. How truly grateful she was for what he had said, that she knew he believed it, and that she was trying to believe it too. How much she needed him right now. How much his love meant to her. How it was the knowledge that she still had him and Louie that was allowing her to get through this.

As soon as she pulled away, she let out a little yawn.

"Tired?" Matt asked. He couldn't imagine her not being completely emotionally exhausted right now. He was, and it hadn't been his world that was completely torn to shreds in the past twenty four hours.

"I guess. More than anything though, I just want this day to be over," Gabby replied.

"Well, let's get you to bed then," Matt stood from the couch, positioning his arms so that he was able to pick Gabby up as he stood and carry her into their bedroom.

"Matt," Gabby tried to protest. She had always hated the idea of some guy carrying her. It always made her feel like some helpless damsel, which she definitely was not. She never would be, not even in this state.

"I know you can get there on your own, but after the day you've had, I think you deserve to be pampered. I want to pamper you," he told her.

"Fine, but I'm picking out my pajamas and changing my clothes myself," she said as they crossed the threshold into their bedroom.

"Deal," Matt said as he gently placed her on their bed. Under normal circumstances he probably would have made some crack about how much he loved to undress her, but he didn't think she was in the mood for it, and he knew she needed to do that herself. It would at least be something she could control.

As he stripped off his own clothes and put on a pair of pajama pants, he kept an eye on her though. Gabby spent a few minutes searching through a drawer, and Matt made a mental note of the fact that she was putting far more effort into picking out something to sleep in than she normally did. Ultimately though she settled on a pair of navy blue sweatpants and a red t-shirt. Once Gabby had changed, they climbed into bed with Gabby curling up into Matt before he wrapped his arms securely around her.

"Night baby," he told as he placed another kiss on her forehead.

"Good night," she replied and then instantly fell asleep. Matt couldn't help but feel relieved. He had been worried that she would be pretty restless or wind up crying herself to sleep.

As for himself, he couldn't quite sleep. His mind kept going back to Gabby and what she was going through. He felt so bad for her. She had always been so close with her family, and over the years he had often thought that she was lucky to have such great parents. Now though that probably just made the whole thing harder for her. It wasn't fair. If either of them should have had to learn that they were really the product of an affair, it should have been him. While he was sure it would have been strange and confusing, part of him would have at least been glad to know that his father's blood wasn't actually flowing through his veins, that there was no need to worry about ever turning out like him. For Gabby though, there was no silver lining. It was just a devastating blow that she didn't deserve. He promised himself for probably the hundredth time that night, that he would do whatever was necessary to make sure she got through this.

* * *

The following morning Gabby, Matt, and Louie sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Matt had gotten up early and made banana-chocolate chip pancakes because he knew it was one of Gabby's favorite comfort foods. After everything that had happened yesterday, he just wanted to make her feel better. One breakfast certainly couldn't make up for everything that had happened in the past two days, hopefully, it would at least get her day off to a good start. He wasn't thrilled that they had shift today and wished he could come up with some excuse for them to take the day off. Gabby would see right through it though, and he was pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate it. The last thing he wanted was for her to be mad at him or feel like he betrayed her on top of everything else she was dealing with. It's not that he didn't think she was capable of taking care of a patient, but he knew that he'd worry about her even more than he usually did today when she had a call and even at the firehouse. She was so broken that he wasn't sure how she'd react if someone noticed something was wrong and asked about it, and he didn't like the idea of her being out there with this on her mind.

Gabby on the other hand was thrilled to have shift today. She craved both a sense of normalcy and a sense of herself; she figured that being on shift, working as a paramedic, a job she'd held for the majority of the past decade would give her both. Maybe it was awful of her, but she was also hoping for a busy shift, anything to keep her mind focused and prevent it from wandering back to the truth about her parentage.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Bonnie's early," Gabby surmised.

"I'll get it," Matt said as he got up and headed towards the door. Opening it, he was surprised to see Gabby's mother standing on the other side. "Camila."

Gabby froze at the sound of her mother's name. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"Hi Matt. I was hoping to talk to Gabriela," Camila's voice flowed through the apartment.

"Now's not really a good time. We're trying to get out of here and to work," Matt replied. He knew Gabby wasn't ready for this. Gabby meanwhile relaxed a little at his words; she was relieved that he wasn't going to force her to talk to her mother the way he'd forced her to talk to Antonio.

"Antonio called me last night. He told me that Gabby was there when he and I were talking yesterday morning and that she knows, you both know, about my affair and what it means," Camila said. "So I'm sure you can understand that I need to talk to my daughter."

"Oh I understand," Matt replied. "Don't take this the wrong way Camila, but I don't care what you need. My only concern is what Gabby needs, and right now that's not talking to you. I'm sorry."

"Matt, can you at least let her know I'm here? I know you're just looking out for her, and I appreciate that, but maybe if she knew I was here, she'd be willing to try and talk. Even if it's just to yell and scream at me," Camila said desperately.

"I can hear you from here you know," Gabby called from her spot in the kitchen. "And I don't have anything to say. Go away," she lowered her voice and turned her attention towards Louie. "Hey sweetie, everything's okay. Finish your breakfast and then let's get you dressed and ready for a day with Bonnie."

"How is she?" Camila asked from back in the hall.

"How do you think?" Matt shot back before calming down slightly and continuing quietly. "She's devastated and hurt. She feels betrayed by the people she was supposed to be able to trust most. You've completely blindsided her twice now in less than a day. The divorce was one thing, but this is on a whole other level. She's still trying to process everything and figure out what it means for her, and she needs time and space to do that. When she's ready to talk she'll reach out, but until then, I'm asking you to give her the space she needs. I won't let this destroy her. No matter what I have to do."

"I'm glad she has you," Camila said. "Can I call you to see how she's doing?"

"If it's okay with Gabby. I'm not going to do anything that's just going to upset her more," he told her before she let herself out of the apartment.

"Thank you," Gabby said when Matt returned to the kitchen. "I was worried you were going to make me talk to her like with Antonio last night."

"Hey, I wasn't trying to make you do anything last night," Matt crouched down next to her so that they were eye level. "But I know you, and even if you weren't willing to admit it to yourself, you needed to talk to Antonio. There were things you needed to get off your chest, and you needed to know what he was going to do with what your mother told him. I was just pushing you in the direction that deep down you wanted to go in because I knew it would help you. It's not the same with your mother. There's nothing you need to say to her that she hasn't already figured out herself, and I don't think you know if you even want to ask the questions you have for her so talking to her isn't going to help you right now. I know you're not ready, but when you are, I will be there with you as long as that's what you want."

"I don't know what I'd do without you right now," Gabby offered him a small smile. Even when she felt so completely lost, Matt still knew her. Maybe he was right. Maybe this didn't really change who she was.

"Now you know how I always feel," Matt hoped a little joke would be okay. "That's what we do. Lift each other up. You've done that for me a million times."

"I love you," she told him as she leaned in for a kiss.

"I love you too," Matt said once they broke apart.

"You can let her know how I'm doing," Gabby changed the subject back to her mom. She wasn't sure what made her say that. As much as she hated her mother in the moment, she also didn't want the woman to worry. That had to be a good sign, right?

* * *

"How are you doing?" Brett asked as she and Gabby were restocking the ambo later that morning.

"I'm fine," Gabby lied. "Sorry you had to see that. It was definitely a crazy and unexpected evening."

"Don't worry about it," Brett said. "You want to see crazy. Come back with me to Indiana sometime for a Brett family reunion. A surprise divorce announcement at the couples' anniversary party would be a walk in the park. Trust me, the Dawson's have nothing on the Brett's."

Gabby hoped her partner didn't see her stiffen at the mention of the Dawson's.

"Antonio told me about what happened yesterday," Brett continued. "You sure you're doing okay?"

"What do you mean he told you about what happened yesterday?" Gabby asked. She started to panic at the possibility that Brett knew the truth.

"About your parents and your father. I'm so sorry Dawson. I can't even imagine what that must feel like," Brett clarified.

"He…he what?" Gabby was absolutely horrified. How could Antonio do this to her? He had no right to go tell Brett something that was about her. He had just betrayed her again.

"He was worried about you. Wanted me to keep an eye on during shift," Brett tried to explain away Antonio's actions.

"Yeah, well it's none of his business and certainly not yours. It wasn't his place to tell you so forget you ever heard any of it, and leave me the hell alone. Tell him to do the same. And don't you dare tell anyone else about this," Gabby was furious as she got up from her spot on the floor of the rig. She threw the gauze she was holding down against the gurney and jumped out of the ambo, making her way into the firehouse.

"Gabby," Brett called only she didn't listen.

Instead she ran through the firehouse. Not even bothering to look up, she headed straight for Matt's office, hoping that he would either be there or see her running and know something was wrong. All she wanted to do right now was lock herself away and forget everything other than him and Louie. She certainly wasn't sure how she was going to get through the rest of shift with Brett.

* * *

Author's Note: So that was chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I know it keeps being an emotional roller coaster, but just try to picture how you'd react if you were in Gabby's shoes.

As a heads up, there should only be one more part to this story. I can't guarantee when it will be posted though as I don't have the whole thing written and really want to give Worth Fighting For some attention. It's been over a month since I updated that one (trying to balance two fics doesn't seem to be working too well sadly) and am aiming to get Chapter 19 out in the next week or two.

Until next time.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: As always thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited after Chapter Three.

So I know I said that this chapter was most likely going to be the last. Well it turned out that I had a lot more than I thought I did so the hopefully good news is that this is now going to be a 5 part story. Anyways, I hope you enjoy Chapter Four, and as always, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Four

Matt was sitting in the common room with the guys and reading the newspaper when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Reaching for it, he saw a text from Antonio.

"How is she?" it simply read. He stared at it for a minute, trying to decide what to do. Hopefully, he wasn't acting too strangely or attracting too much attention. Hermann had already asked about Gabby, which wasn't surprising given what the man had witnessed at Molly's the previous evening. Matt had tried to brush off Hermann's concerns, but he wasn't completely sure Hermann had bought it.

"She's doing her best to hang in there," he ultimately decided to text Antonio back. "This morning wasn't as bad as last night."

Once he'd hit send, Matt was startled by the sight of a figure racing past the common room. Looking up, he had no doubt it was Gabby. Instantly concerned he threw the paper down on the table and got up to go after her. He followed her down the hall and into the bunkroom, noticing her stop right outside his office door.

"Damn it," she cursed as she looked into his office and noticed that he wasn't there.

"Gabby," he said cautiously as he came up to her.

"Matt," her body instantly relaxed as she realized he was there.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked as he guided her into his office and then closed and locked the door.

"Promise me," Gabby said as she turned around to face him. He noticed that despite a look of fury on her face, her eyes were watering as she paused for a moment trying to get her thoughts in order and then continued. "Promise me that you'll never lie to me or keep anything important from me or go and tell someone my personnel business without my permission."

"Of course I won't," Matt replied. He was pretty sure something else had happened. He wasn't sure what or how it had happened at work, but it was like Gabby had taken a step back from where she was this morning.

"Promise," she said desperately.

"I promise," he told her. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but she had started pacing frantically in the little aisle between his bed and the window that overlooked the bunkroom. He knew she was just trying to get her anger out. "What happened?"

She didn't respond. She just kept pacing.

"Gabby, baby, talk to me," he tried again.

"Antonio," Gabby started to speak even though she kept pacing. "He…he told Brett everything."

Matt was shocked. As far as he was concerned, if anyone had a right to know what was going on with Gabby, it was him, but Antonio wouldn't give him anything last night beyond basically implying that he should be worried about her. He and Gabby were all but married after all. How did Antonio go from not being willing to tell him what was going on to telling Brett?

"I guess he thinks the fact that he's been fucking her for a hot minute gives him the right to blab my personal business to her. It's not okay though. He can't just tell whoever he wants something about me, especially someone I know and work with. Someone whose supposed to be my friend," Gabby ranted as tears started to fall. She was clearly very pissed. Matt was tempted to ask where the supposed to be part came from but figured it was just Gabby being angry.

"I know," he said as he took a seat on his bed and motioned for her to join him. "Come here."

Gabby sat down next to him, and he started massaging her shoulders in an attempt to relax her.

"I'm sorry," Matt told her. "Things will be okay again. I promise."

"How am I supposed to face her now that she knows?" Gabby asked.

"I know, and you haven't had any problem facing me," Matt pointed out.

"That's not the same thing. You're you," Gabby replied. Matt just nodded somehow understanding exactly what she meant. He pulled her towards him as the couple sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Antonio's basically betrayed me twice now. My so-called parents are nothing more than liars. You're the only person I feel like I can trust right now," Gabby broke the silence. She sounded so vulnerable. As much as he hated seeing her like this, it meant a lot to him that when she felt like she had nobody, he was the person she held on to.

"There's something I need to tell you," Matt felt Gabby stiffen at his words. "It's nothing bad. At least I don't think it is. Right before you came looking for me, Antonio texted me. He wanted to know how you were doing. Since you had said it would be okay for me to update your mom, I thought it would be okay if I did the same with Antonio. If you don't want me to do that anymore or talk to him or anything else, I won't. Just let me know."

"That's what doesn't make any sense," Gabby said. Matt just looked at her confused. "Brett said that Antonio wanted her to keep an eye on me, but he knows you're here and that you can do that. So why did he need to tell her?"

Before Matt could respond, the bells went off calling both Truck and Ambo to assist a person who was trapped. Gabby's demeanor suddenly changed. In an instant, she pushed everything aside, and forced herself to focus on nothing more than being a paramedic. Matt was still concerned though and silently promised to keep as close of an eye on her during as much of the call as he possibly could.

* * *

"Hey Dawson, can you patch the ketchup?" Otis called from the other side of the table.

They had returned from their call a little over an hour ago. Wanting to avoid the common room, especially since it was Brett's turn to make lunch, Gabby had spent most of that time camped out in Matt's office reading in the hopes that a book would help her escape from reality while he worked up his report from the call. Now they were all gathered around the table, eating the macaroni and cheese lunch that Brett had prepared.

"That's disgusting Otis" Kidd said from her spot a couple chairs down from where Gabby and Matt sat.

"You just haven't tried it yet," Otis told Kidd.

Gabby meanwhile sat there, not responding to Otis's request. Instead the name reverberated in her mind. Dawson. She had been known as Dawson for her whole career with the CFD. It was just a name or at least it was supposed to be. Suddenly though she found it offensive. She didn't really know what she should be, but she shouldn't be Dawson. The name, the fact that everyone called her that, was just a symbol of the lie.

"Dawson, ketchup," Otis said again when she hadn't responded a minute later.

"Here," Matt grabbed the ketchup and passed it down the table. Looking at Gabby, she was sitting there stoically almost in a daze. Worried about her, he was about to reach for his plate and suggest to Gabby that they go eat in his office when she suddenly stood up.

"Guys," Gabby said. "I have an announcement to make."

Everyone looked at her expectantly and then to Matt, who was clearly surprised by this turn of events, and then back to Gabby. However, she just stood there for a minute before saying anything else.

"I guess it's more of a request," she finally continued. "I know I've been Dawson as long as you've all known me, but would you guys mind calling me Gabby from now on?"

She didn't know what everyone had been expecting her to say, but it wasn't that. Everyone just stared at her with looks of surprise and confusion on their faces.

"Sure," Hermann finally said. He didn't know what exactly was going on with her, but he could tell that for some reason that was what she needed to hear.

"Thanks," Gabby mumbled as she sat back down again. Only she didn't start eating again. She just stared at her plate and sort of played with her food.

"You okay Gabby?" Hermann followed up.

"I'm fine," she said. "Just not very hungry."

She then got up and headed back towards Matt's office, eager to avoid any further questioning. She wasn't exactly sure what she'd say if anyone asked why she suddenly wanted to go by her first name. Matt grabbed both of their plates and got up to follow her. He found her sitting on his bed, the book she was reading earlier sitting on her lap unopened.

"Hey," he said as he put their plates down on his desk, closed the door, and then joined her on the bed.

"Hey. Did anyone say anything about my running out of there like that or the other thing?" she hoped no one was getting suspicious. She certainly wasn't ready to tell anyone else what was actually going on.

"No," Matt replied. "I think everyone was a little surprised. You've always been Dawson to them, but I'm sure they'll get over it."

"I know its technically, legally my last name, but it's not real Matt," Gabby started to explain. "When Otis said it, it was just a reminder that I'm not who I thought I was, that my life's been one big lie. I'm not really Gabby Dawson. I'm Gabby no-name. Even if you're right, and Gabby no-name is who we thought Gabby Dawson was, how can I continue to answer to that? Every time someone tries to talk to me, it's going to feel like a slap in the face."

"Well, I can't speak for Squad or Engine, but if you want to start going by Gabby or anything else at work, the guys on Truck are going to have to start calling you that or I'm sure I can find some really painful drills for them to run," Matt told her.

"Thanks Matt," Gabby squeezed his hand and let out a slight chuckle. Matt couldn't help but smile at that, he was pretty sure it was the closest she'd come to laughing since finding out about the divorce.

"Do you want to try eating some more?" Matt asked.

"I really don't have much of an appetite. That wasn't just an excuse," Gabby replied.

"Well, I am so," Matt got up and returned with both their plates. "You don't have to eat this if you don't want to, but it's here if you do get hungry."

The couple sat in silence as Matt started to eat. Gabby's plate sat on her lap, but she initially didn't touch her food. After a few minutes of watching Matt eat though, she finally took a bite, earning a smile from Matt.

"What if I changed my name?" Gabby asked.

Not quite following, Matt just looked at her, confusion evident on his face.

"Get rid of Dawson. Pick a new last name," she clarified.

"What would you use?" Matt asked. He was still hoping that one day she'd change her name to Gabriela Casey but was pretty sure that was not where this was going. Besides, he knew now wasn't the time to have that discussion. Gabby had a lot to get through before she would be ready to hear about how badly he still wanted to make her his wife.

"Not sure. Maybe just randomly pick something out of the phonebook, assuming I can find one," Gabby replied.

"Why don't you take some time to try to figure all this out first? If you're still feeling this way about everything in a few weeks, we can look into what you would have to do," Matt suggested. He didn't want her to make any rash decisions that she'd later regret. That's what her instincts would tell her to do though. It's what she always did after all.

"What's wrong with now?" Gabby asked.

"I just want you to make sure it's what you really want. I know right now it doesn't feel like you'll ever forgive your family, but if you do reach that point one day, are you going to be able to forgive yourself for doing so much to erase them from your life?" Matt asked.

"You and Louie are all the family I need Matt," Gabby told him.

"I know, but just please think about it," Matt said. "Can you at least do that for me?"

"I'll try," Gabby replied. He'd done so much for her in the past two days. He'd been her rock. As much as she wanted to act now, she would try to do this one thing for him. It was only fair.

* * *

Matt was washing his hands when Brett joined him in the bathroom.

"Casey," she started. "I didn't mean to upset Gabby earlier. I just wanted to let her know I'm here for her."

"Then you should have let her come to you instead of trying to force sympathy or whatever it was on her," he replied. The words came out a little colder than he had intended, but he couldn't help but feel like Brett was partly responsible for the state Gabby was in.

"How's she doing?" Brett asked. "She didn't really seem great at lunch."

"How do you think she's doing?" Matt shot back. He didn't pause for an answer though. "You asking for you or Antonio? Reporting everything back to him?"

"That's not fair," Brett tried to defend herself.

"What's not fair is what all of this has done Gabby," Matt said.

"I know she's not happy that he told me, but I was just trying to help," Brett claimed. "I was at Antonio's last night when he got home. He seemed upset. Then later I overheard him on the phone saying that Gabby had been there that morning, heard everything, and wasn't taking it well. He wasn't trying to spill some big secret. First he just asked me to keep an eye on her, especially when we were out on calls, make sure she was okay and didn't get distracted."

"Gabby would never let this interfere with how she treated a patient," Matt interjected.

"Not intentionally," Brett started to say.

"Never," Matt insisted. "You both should have more faith in her."

"Look, don't hold this against Antonio. He tried to stop there. I had to pry the whole story out of him, but I think it did him some good to get it all off his chest. I was just trying to help him, just like I was trying to help Gabby," Brett said. "Besides, I'm his girlfriend. Aren't I supposed to know what's going on in his life?"

"If it was his life that had been turned upside down sure, but not in this case," Matt countered.

"So if it had been, then Gabby would have been wrong to tell you?" Brett argued.

"Don't compare you and Antonio to Gabby and me. You want to help her, give her space," Matt said angrily before turning around and walking away, eager to get back to his girl.

* * *

It was dark out as Matt sat in his office trying to get some paperwork done. He wasn't getting much done though as his focus kept drifting to the sleeping form on his bed. Gabby had passed out shortly after ambo had got back from a call about an hour earlier. He was pretty sure she'd headed straight for his office as soon as 61 was parked on the apparatus floor. About fifteen minutes after she and Brett got back, they had been called to dinner. He'd gone to get them both some food since Gabby had wanted to keep hiding out in his office. When he'd returned with two bowls of chili, she had been sound asleep. He'd eaten his but hers still sat on the corner of his desk. It had to be cold by now. They'd, or rather he'd, have to microwave it once she woke up.

He was worried about her. The past couple of days had clearly taken a toll. The fact that she'd fallen asleep a little after 6:30 was proof of that along with the amount of time she'd spent in his office. Aside from when ambo had been out on a call, she'd been camped out on his bed, spending her time talking with him, reading, staring blankly into space, and bursting into tears at random points throughout the afternoon when the full weight of everything would hit her. It was the last two that especially had him concerned. Normally, he'd be thrilled to have her in here all day, but he knew that this time it was because she was lost and wanted to hide from the world. She felt safe and secure when it was just the two of them but vulnerable around anyone else. She was relying on him to get her through this, and he was pretty sure that over the past twenty four hours she had come to realize that none of this mattered to him, that he loved her just as much as he always had, but she was still afraid of how everyone else would react. She needed his love and support but didn't want anyone else's pity or concern. So she was afraid to face everyone, worried that she wouldn't be able to keep a façade up all day and that they'd see something was wrong. He was pretty sure that they all already suspected that something was wrong though. While she did normally spend more time in his office than most paramedics would have, her refusal to leave it wasn't normal and would have set off a red flag to anyone who was paying attention.

"Lieutenant," Hermann called as he knocked on his door.

"It's open," Matt replied quietly. Once Hermann had opened the door, Matt motioned towards Gabby on the bed to make sure that Hermann knew she was sleeping.

"Dawson's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Hermann began.

"She asked to be called Gabby," Matt pointed out.

"Sorry, habit," Hermann explained.

"Well, change it. That's an order," Matt said.

"Is she okay though?" Hermann asked. "Between last night and how she's been acting today. Not just with the whole name thing, but she's been tense on calls and otherwise in here all day. She pretty much won't speak to anyone the few times we have seen her. The Squad guys heard her yelling at Brett in the ambo this morning. Cruz asked Brett earlier what that was all about, but Brett wouldn't give him an answer. Something just isn't right."

"She's dealing with some personal stuff. If she wants to talk to you about it, she will," Matt explained while trying to be vague. He did not want to hurt Gabby more by accidentally revealing too much but he also didn't lie to his men, and even if he tried, it wouldn't be believable. "Otherwise I've got her so there's no need to worry. Thanks for your concern though."

"You sure?" Hermann pressed.

"Yeah. Be there for her if she reaches out, but if she doesn't, just give her some space," Matt said.

"Alright," Hermann said as he left and movement from the bed caught Matt's eye.

"You're awake," Matt observed.

"I heard voices," Gabby said sleepily.

"Yeah. Hermann stopped by. He's worried about you," Matt informed her as he took a spot next to her on the bed. Hearing his words, a look of alarm spread across Gabby's face. "Hey it's a good thing. He cares. Don't worry though. I didn't give him any specifics. Just told him that if you wanted to talk to him about what was going on you would."

"Thanks Matt," she told him for what felt like the hundredth time since her world had come apart. "You always have my back."

"Well, it's a very sexy back," Matt was hoping to get at least a small smile out of her, but it didn't work. "I know you're not ready yet, and I'm not trying to force you to do anything you're not ready for, but you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by or anything else. When you are ready to talk to them about all this, I know that Hermann and everyone else here will be there for you. You don't just have me and Louie to help you through this. You have everyone at 51 too."

"I can't Matt," Gabby told him.

"Then you don't have to," he reassured her.

Before either of them could say anything else, Gabby's stomach let out a growl.

"Want me to heat that up for you?" Matt pointed to the bowl of chili on his desk.

Gabby simply nodded in response.

"I'll be right back then," Matt placed a kiss on her forehead before getting up, grabbing the bowl, and heading towards the kitchen.

* * *

Author's Note: So that does it for Chapter Four. Hope you enjoyed all the Dawsey goodness in this one and let me know what you thought of it.

Until next time.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited this story after Chapter 4 and along the way. This is the last chapter of this one. Hope you enjoy, and as always, please take the time to let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Five

After they got off shift the following morning, Matt and Gabby headed home where they found Bonnie serving Louie breakfast.

"Cheerios, huh?" Matt said, prompting Louie to nod in response before Matt added. "Well, give me some."

He grabbed the box and a bowl and sat down next to Louie, offering some to Gabby as well.

"No thanks," Gabby told him.

"Gabby," Matt started to say. He was worried that she was still too upset to eat.

"Don't worry," Gabby sensed what was on his mind as she reached into the bread box and grabbed a bagel, popping it into the toaster. "Do you remember your offer the other day to cancel your construction job and spend the day as a family?"

"Yeah," Matt replied. "You want me to do that today?"

"If it's not too much to ask," Gabby said. She really wanted to spend the day with Matt and Louie and try to focus on the family she still had instead of the one she'd lost.

"Of course it's not. I meant it when I said that whatever you need I'm here," Matt reassured Gabby as she plopped down across from him and Louie with her bagel. "You come first Gabby. Not just with what's going on now but always. I know I haven't always done the best job of showing it, but I'd like to think I've learned my lesson."

"Thanks Matt," she offered him a small smile.

"So what do you want to do today?" Matt asked.

"Just hang out here with you and Louie. Doesn't need to be anything fancy," Gabby replied.

"Then that's what we'll do," Matt promised.

* * *

"Oh no," Gabby heard Louie exclaim while Matt made a swooshing noise as she put the last plate in the dishwasher. The two of them were in the living room playing Chutes and Ladders while she cleaned up from dinner. Based on the noises coming from the living room, one of her boys must have just landed on a chute. As she had requested, the three of them spent the day together as a family, watching cartoons and playing whatever games Louie had wanted. It had warmed Gabby's heart to see how happy Louie was to be spending the day with them.

She was happy to have the time with Louie and Matt too, but she couldn't help but be reminded of the family time she had enjoyed as a child with her so called parents and on occasion Antonio. The smile on her mother's face. The way a teenaged Antonio would always complain about it and try to hide the fact that he was actually having fun. How no matter what game they were playing, her so called father always managed to find a way to let her win. She did her best to push those thoughts and memories to the back of her mind, to not let them invade the time she had with her boys so that she could focus on how glad she was to still have them instead of how devastated she was by what she had lost. Still, she couldn't help but occasionally wonder if the smile on her mother's face was because she believed that despite her affair, her life had fallen back into place, that she and her husband once again had the life they'd shared before, and that the scene in front of her, Ramon's ability to put up with the living evidence of her betrayal, was proof that she had been forgiven. Or if Ramon put so much effort into finding ways to let her win because it kept his mind off the fact that she wasn't actually his, not because he just wanted to make her happy.

Louie seemed oblivious to what was really going on in her mind, but Matt would reach out for her, a look of concern on his face whenever those thoughts crossed her mind. The thoughts must be accompanied by a significant shift in her demeanor. Either that or Matt was right about still knowing her. He'd always been able to read her even when they were simply good friends.

Now alone with her thoughts, she couldn't help but let her mind drift back to memories from her childhood and everything that had happened in the past couple of days. How much of those memories were real and how much was a fiction created by everyone around her?

Turning on the dishwasher, she wiped a tear from her eye. She couldn't cry, not now. The last thing she wanted was to scare Louie again, and she'd worried Matt so much already, she couldn't keep doing that to him. She needed to pull herself together before going back out and joining Matt and Louie. Only having held everything in all day, she couldn't do it anymore. Having managed not to cry for nearly twenty four hours, she couldn't fight off the tears and started to sob.

"You sad," Louie's voice startled Gabby. He and Matt must have heard her crying because she looked up to see the two of them entering the kitchen. Louie came up to her and wrapped his little arms around her leg in an attempt to comfort her. Matt wasn't far behind.

"Better now that you're here," she said as she picked him up and tried to smile. Matt made his way to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her and Louie close. Louie reached for her face and tried to wipe away her tears.

"Well thank you," Gabby smiled at him. This family moment was turning out to be exactly what she needed. Turning her attention towards Matt she continued. "I'm okay. Everything just kind of hit me again."

"If you need to talk," Matt started to say before she cut him off.

"I'm good. Promise," she reassured him.

"Okay. You want to join us?" Matt asked. "Louie already crushed me once, and we were gonna start a new game so you won't have to worry about being behind."

"Sure," Gabby offered him a small smile.

The three of them headed back into the living room, but just after Gabby had taken her first turn, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Gabby offered.

"You sure?" Matt asked. They weren't expecting anyone, and he wasn't quite sure how she's react if it turned out to be a member of her family. Hopefully, it was just a neighbor, but if it wasn't, he wanted her to have the chance to prepare herself instead of just being face to face with someone she might not be ready to see.

"Yeah, it's your turn anyways," she replied as she got up and headed towards the front door. When she got there, she opened it to find Ramon Dawson standing on the other side.

"Gabriela," he said simply.

Gabby just stood there frozen, staring at him. She wasn't sure what to call him. Everything she'd called him in the past didn't seem appropriate anymore. Was he Ramon? Mr. Dawson?

"Can I come in?" his question broke the awkward silence.

In the living room, Matt heard Ramon's voice and started to get up.

"Louie, I'll be right back," he said before heading towards the front door to join Gabby and offer her support.

When he got there he was surprised to see that she had moved to the side and let her father in. She still hadn't said a word though. Her mouth was open like she wanted to speak but wasn't really sure what to say. He reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Sweetheart, can we talk?" Ramon asked.

Gabby wasn't sure what to make of Ramon's use of the word sweetheart. Deep down she wanted to believe that her life had been real, that he had loved her as a father, but she was scared. What if she let her guard down and it turned out that all her worries from the past few days were well-founded? What if he was only calling her sweetheart to get her to relax enough for him to twist the knife and tell her that he hated her, and now that she knew the truth, he never wanted to see or hear from her again? That wasn't the man she had thought she had known her entire life, then again the man she thought she knew wasn't a liar.

"I-I'm not sure what to call you," she finally managed to get out.

"Dad," Ramon simply replied.

"What?" Gabby asked.

"You should call me Dad," Ramon clarified.

"But you're not actually my dad," Gabby pointed out.

"Of course I am," Ramon said.

Matt smiled inside at those words and the seemingly offended tone in Ramon's voice. He had never doubted that this man loved Gabby and saw her as his daughter but Gabby had. He was glad to be the one proven right. This conversation would be good for Gabby. She needed to hear all this from the man himself. Maybe then she'd start to believe it.

"Maybe the two of you should have this conversation inside," Matt suggested.

"I think that's a great idea," Ramon offered Matt a small smile. He knew Matt had sent Camila away and was relieved to see that the young man was seemingly on his side.

"Gabby," Matt said when she hadn't responded. Leaning down he whispered in her ear. "I'm sure it'll be okay."

Eventually Gabby just nodded, prompting Ramon to head further into the apartment.

"Louie," the couple heard the man say excitedly as Matt turned so that he was facing Gabby.

"You want me to stay when you talk to him?" Matt asked.

"I'll be fine…I think," Gabby replied. As much as she would have loved to have him at her side for support, she thought it would be better for Louie if Matt was with him. That way he would be distracted and not wander out of the room. Louie was so young and had been through so much. She wouldn't know how to explain all this to him, and she certainly didn't want to scare him like she had the other night. "You and Louie just finish the game in his room."

Matt just nodded.

"Just if you hear me crying or one of us is yelling or something like that, come out," Gabby said, fear in her voice.

"Of course," he promised. "I'm so proud of you for facing this, and I love you so much." He leaned down to kiss her.

"I love you too," Gabby said before taking a deep breath. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Matt offered her a smile before taking her hand again as they headed into the living room.

"Louie, let's go finish up the game in your room. Can you remember where our pieces are?" Matt said.

"Okay," Louie said, clearly oblivious to what was going on with his new family.

Louie looked at the board carefully before bouncing off to his room, leaving Matt to actually pack up the game. As Matt did so, Ramon put his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"Thank you," Ramon said.

"I just want what's best for Gabby," Matt looked up. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't," Ramon promised.

"I guess we should sit down," Gabby said even though Ramon was already sitting, breaking the awkward silence that had resumed once Matt had headed for Louie's room. She just wasn't sure where or how to begin.

"I am so sorry you had to find out like that. Your mother and I, we never wanted to do this to you," Ramon told her once she was sitting in the arm chair on the opposite side of the room.

"Why lie then? Why pretend to be my father?" Gabby asked in a shaky but unusually meek voice.

"I was not pretending. I am your father Gabriela," Ramon insisted as he slid across the couch towards her and reached for her hand. She pulled it away though. "As for why we didn't tell you, we told ourselves that we were doing the right thing, that there was no need for you to know that your biological father never had any interest in you or being your father, for you to feel rejected by him. And we just wanted to forget the affair so we tried to pretend it never happened. We were selfish. I was selfish. The more time passed, the more I didn't want you to ever find out that it wasn't my blood flowing through your veins. You are _my_ child in every way that matters, and I could not love you more. Biology doesn't make a family. Love does. You of all people should know that."

Gabby didn't say anything. She started at him, slightly confused.

"You and Matt both love and adore Louie," he continued. "Even though you're fostering him, you think of him as your son. I know that for a fact. Can you honestly tell me that you think you would love Louie more if he was biologically yours? Or that when you and Matt have more children, biological children, you'll see them differently than you see Louie?"

"Of course not," Gabby replied. "But it's not the same thing. Louie's not Matt's child with someone else, someone he had an affair with. He's not a reminder of how I was betrayed by the person I'm supposed to be spending my life with. He's just an incredible little boy, who was alone and needed a home with people to love and care for him."

"You are not a reminder of what your mother did," Ramon insisted as his eyes started to water. "You're the little baby who melted my heart when her first word was daddy or more like tatty – you had trouble with d's at first – but I knew what you meant and that you were referring to me. The toddler who just had to look at me to have me wrapped around her finger. The little girl who excitedly ran to the door every night when I came home to tell me about her day, always bringing a smile to my face. The rebellious teenager who always had me torn between hugging her and scolding her when she got in trouble. And the amazing young woman who I am incredibly proud to call my daughter. I have _never_ seen you as anything other than my little girl Gabriela, and I _never_ will."

"Then why did you tell Antonio that you should have gotten divorced thirty years ago? If you had, you never would have become my dad?" Gabby couldn't help but ask as her own eyes started to water.

"You have to understand that I was and still am deeply in love with your mother. To this day I believe that she is the love of my life, and the only people I have ever loved more than her are you, your brother, and my grandchildren," Ramon started to explain. "Finding her in bed with another man was the worst moment of my life. I pray to God that you never have to experience a pain like that."

"Matt would never," Gabby couldn't help getting angry at the very suggestion that he would ever cheat on her.

"I'm not trying to say he would," Ramon responded. "The point is that as awful as it was at the time, as hurt as I was, none of it changed my love for her. My head was telling me not to forgive your mother, to file for divorce instead of trying to work things out, but my heart couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life without her. I listened to my heart, and I stayed, determined to work it out, not willing to accept anything less. On the surface, we were happy and it was like nothing had changed. I'm pretty sure that your mother believed that none of mattered to me anymore. I tried really hard to believe that too, but the truth is something changed for me the moment I found them in bed together and it was always there in the back of my mind. Once trust is broken, you can never truly, completely get it back no matter how much you want to. I kept a closer eye on your mother than I ever had before, and deep down I was always suspicious, constantly wondering if she was cheating or lying, questioning her interactions with men even the ones we'd known for years and I would have trusted with my life and more importantly yours and Antonio's. Living like that is completely exhausting. I've reached a point where I just can't do it anymore, and yes, there is a part of me that wonders if I would have been better off not having lived like that for so many years and how much easier my life would have been. That's why I told Antonio I should have left back then.

"But I could never regret claiming you as my own. You and your brother will always be the best things that ever happened to me. And you're right. Had I left, I wouldn't have become your father. That's why no matter how hard and exhausting it was, I will always be glad I stayed. You need to know that Gabriela."

"When you decided to stay, did you know that Mom was pregnant and you would have to become my father?" Gabby asked.

"Yes. We found out about you a couple weeks after I found out about your mother's affair. I was still living in the house, sleeping in the guest room, doing everything I could to avoid your mother while I tried to figure out what to do. I remember hearing your mother crying in the bathroom one evening, and as much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help going in and checking on her," Ramon explained.

"She was crying because she was pregnant with me," Gabby couldn't help feeling rejected. Given the circumstances around her conception, she could have guessed that she hadn't been wanted or a welcome surprise, but actually hearing confirmation of that was like being kicked in the gut again.

"It was never about you," Ramon tried to reassure her. "She was sitting on the floor, holding the test with tears streaming down her face. Seeing the test made me sick, and I'm sure that for your mother, the fact that she was having another child hadn't really hit her, and if it had I'm sure she was scared. I think she saw it as just another reason for me to leave her, but that wouldn't have been the only thing that scared her. Throughout her pregnancy, she was terrified of losing you. For years after Antonio was born, we tried to have another baby, but we didn't have any luck for the first few years. Then when Antonio was four, we found out your mother was pregnant. Only about two months later, she had a miscarriage. We went through the whole thing again six months later. That pregnancy lasted barely three weeks. At that point we just gave up. Decided having another baby wasn't meant to be. Turns out all it required was another man's sperm."

"You sound resentful," Gabby observed.

"No," Ramon insisted, prompting Gabby to look at him skeptically. "I won't lie to you."

"Why should I believe that?" Gabby couldn't help but interject.

"I know that you feel betrayed and that I need to earn your trust back. I promise you that I'm going to do everything I can do to that because no matter how you're feeling right now, you are my little girl, and I'm not going to just sit back and do nothing while I lose you. So I'm not going to lie to you. Not again," Ramon replied. "After everything we went through trying to have another child, the fact that your mother fell pregnant by some other man stung, but I've never resented you for how you came into this world. I certainly resent the fact that another man spent months screwing my wife, and I resent the fact that someone else is your biological father, but I do _not_ resent you. I hate to admit it, but in the months before you were born and even immediately afterwards, I wasn't sure if I could really do it. Be your father I mean. I was worried that I would resent you or have a hard time looking at you or even just seeing you the same way I see Antonio, feeling the same way about you as I do your brother. The thing is though that the first time you looked at me with recognition in your eyes and smiled, I knew that I could. From that moment on, the circumstances surrounding your conception have never mattered. Not in terms of how I see you at least. You were just this perfect little baby, who knew who I was and needed me. You were my little baby, and I remember smiling back at you, not so much because you were smiling at me, but because in that moment, I realized that I loved just as much as Antonio and that you were my child just as much as he was."

The sound of a door opening pulled Gabby and Ramon's attention towards Louie's room.

"Don't mind me," Matt said quietly as he flicked the lights off and emerged from the room. "Louie fell asleep so I got him changed and into bed. I'll be in our room. Just let me know when you guys are done."

"It's okay," Ramon said as Matt walked by them on his way to the master bedroom. Looking at Gabby, Ramon could tell that she was emotionally drained from this conversation and probably even the past few days. As much as he didn't want to leave until she had forgiven him and accepted the fact that he did see her as his daughter, he knew that she needed a break from this conversation so he decided to put his own needs aside and do what he thought was best for her. "It's getting late. I probably should get going."

"Okay," Gabby wasn't sure how to respond. She wanted desperately to believe him, but nothing he had said changed how hurt she was right now. Didn't believing him just open herself up to more pain?

"Gabriela," Ramon said as he reached for her hand, surprised and relieved when this time she didn't pull it away. "Remember what I said. You're always going to be my little girl, and I love you as a father. Please believe that," he begged. "I'll understand if now that you know about him, you want to try to find your biological father, and if you want me to, I don't know much, but I'll do what I can to help. I really hope you don't though."

Did she want to find her biological father? Thinking about it for the first time, she quickly decided the answer was not really. From what she'd overheard the other day, it didn't sound like he had wanted anything to do with her before she was born, and he'd had thirty years to try to do something if he had changed his mind. No, finding him would probably just lead to rejection and maybe even more heartbreak. She wasn't ready to give the man before her what could be the relief of knowing that she wasn't going to try to find another father so Gabby didn't say anything. She simply stood up and moved towards Matt, who by that point was standing next to her chair. Once she was close enough, he quickly wrapped an arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

As Ramon walked towards the door and grabbed his coat, Gabby felt the tears once again fall from her eyes. She hadn't even realized that at some point during her conversation with her father they had stopped. Her father. The realization suddenly hit her. At some point during the past hour, she had shifted back towards seeing him that way.

"Daddy," she called as he put his coat on, seeing the smile her use of the word brought to his face but not seeing the one it brought to Matt's. "Are you still at home?"

"No your mother kicked me out when I showed up hungover in the middle of the afternoon on Sunday," Ramon replied. Gabby supposed that she shouldn't be surprised that he had been kicked out or been hungover. When Matt found her in the stairwell later that night, he did say that her father was getting drunk at the bar, and despite how distraught she had been at the time, she could tell that her father had humiliated her mother at their anniversary party Saturday night. Besides, who would want to live with the spouse who had left them any longer than they had to? "I've been staying at your Uncle Juan's the past few days."

"I'm glad you have somewhere to go," Gabby said honestly.

"Thanks sweetheart," Ramon replied as he opened the door and made his way out of the apartment.

"You okay?" Matt asked once the door had shut behind Ramon. He turned Gabby in his arms so that she was facing him. There was no way he was letting go of her before he knew she was alright though.

"No, but I will be," Gabby offered him a small smile as he reached up to wipe her tears away. She wasn't ready to forgive her father or the rest of her family, but for the first time since her world had been blown up, she knew that she would get there someday. She would get through this. She would be okay. They all would be.

The End

* * *

Author's Note: Okay so I know I didn't wrap everything up in a nice neat little bow, but from the beginning this was where I wanted to this one. This was only intended to be a story (originally a one shot) about Gabby finding out her dad isn't her dad and how she deals with it. Now she's at the point where she knows she can. That last scene between Gabby and Ramon was actually one of the first things that came to me when I started taking this from an idea to a story, and I knew right away that at least to me, it was the perfect way to end this story.

Thanks for reading everybody. I hope to be back with the next chapter of Worth Fighting For shortly.


End file.
